The Cafeteria Is No Place For Socialism

(Image via zazzle)

I am going to take the risk and label myself as “ecologically conscientious.” I make efforts to recycle, avoid excessive packaging, suppport sustainable businesses, reduce my transportation, and turn off the lights when I leave my room. I even reuse disposable cutlery and the like. I am not one to burn through resources willy nilly, and that is why this recent encounter doesn’t sit to well.

After class, I decided to visit the school cafeteria for a snack. As “an apple a day will keep you kicking ass,” I sought out the fruit bowl located next to the bagels. Of course, the selection there was the most unimpressive grip of produce I have ever seen. All the “loser” apples: golden and red delicious, and thoroughly bruised granny smith. Despite the abuse it had endured in its sad existence, I chose the granny smith. Who the hell eats all those “delicious” things?

I reluctantly paid for the apple, and then walked over to the condiment and cutlery station. I grabbed a napkin and knife (fully intent on reusing and composting after use). Turning to leave the cafeteria, I nearly tripped over a jarring screech of “Stop! For customers only!”

I turned and was met by the cafeteria overlord wiggling her way over to me using an awkward half-skip. “Excuse me? Is there something wrong?” I asked.

“You cannot have these. For customers only,” she said while making a surprising attempt to retrieve the items from me.

“But I just bought this apple. You can ask your checker.”

“But it an apple. No need these,” again grabbing for my napkin and knife.

“I was going to cut off the bruises from the apple. And that can get messy.”

“For customers only. You didn’t buy bagel.”

“Only bagels permit you to have a napkin? What’s so special about a bagel?”

“You must pay,” she said waving me back to the register.

“There isn’t any kind of sign saying that only bagel buyers can have a napkin and knife. I assumed that any customer was entitled to the accessories.”

“Costs money. You pay.”

“Seriously? You are going to make me pay for a napkin and knife?” This was not what she wanted to hear. One arm bent to prop on her hip, the other fist clenching a towel.

I ended up not paying for the napkin and knife, but I couldn’t even bear to use them. Instead, I left the napkin and still have the knife in my backpack. I had been beaten. Though she did not explicitly request it, I don’t feel that I will be visiting the cafeteria much for the time being. I know that she will always be there, because that is how authoritarian cafeteria ladies are. They don’t sleep, and they don’t back down.

The glares that I have received from her since this encounter are as dangerous as a volley of arrows, or perhaps being shanked with compostable cutlery. I don’t plan on returning anytime soon, because I am certain that I wouldn’t escape a second time.

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Elsewhere…

Also for the cafeteria: You dropped food on the floor, do you eat it flow chart. (via Swiss Miss)

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“Careless talk costs lives.” WWI & WWII Propaganda Posters. (via Boing Boing)

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A solid list: John Boardleys’ fave fonts from 2009. (via I Love Typography)

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I am in agreement with a whole lot on here: “2010: The Twenty Worst Songs of the Last Ten Years,” a playlist from Club Mumble. Click HERE to download. While I too despise most of the songs on the list, I find it oddly endearing….weird.

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Drexler is on point with his curation of the Best Snowboard Video Soundtracks. Note the absence of any films from the past several years, as they all consisted of way too much twee-pop and “Yo, yo yo! Check me out: I’m a gangster” songs.

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For Dad: The Engineer’s Guide to Drinks. Happy Friday. (via coudal)